Funny Quotes About Life

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Taking naps😪😪 sounds🎵🎵 so 🆘 😜childish😜. I prefer to call📲 them horizontal life ⏸pauses ⏸….

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Funny Quotes About Life

When 😇life puts you in 👍tough situations, 🔥don’t say why me🤔 Just say try me😅😅

Funny Quotes About Life
funny quotes about life and love

Every 🕝time🕝 you are able to find🔍 humor in a🅰️🅰️ difficult situation, you win 🏆…

Funny Quotes About Life

If you😁 are always trying👍 to be normal🙏, you will never😅 know how amazing you 😇can be…. 👍
-Maya Angelou

Funny Quotes About Life
funny quotes about life lessons

See the world 🌏 like😘 a 🅰️ big wardrobe. Everybody has🈶 his own costume👘. There is only one1️⃣ that fits you perfectly💯💯….
– George Harris

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Funny Quotes About Life

I don’t 💭think💭 God put you on🔛 this earth 🌎 just to make millions of dollars 💶 and ignore everything else..
– Chris Amundsen

Funny Quotes About Life
funny quotes about life struggles

You can’t experience simple 😹joys😹 when you’re living life with your hair💈💈 🔛on🔛🔛 fire🔥…
-Emily Ley

Funny Quotes About Life
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If you stumble, make it🇮🇹 〽️part 〽️〽️ of the dance…

Funny Quotes About Life
funny quotes about life being hard

My alone time🕚 is sometimes for your safety…

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Funny Quotes About Life

Life is too short for fake butter, 🍕cheese🍕, or people 👫..

Funny Quotes About Life

One day you’re the best👍 thing since 🍰sliced🍰 bread🍞. The next➡️, you’re the toast🍞🍞….
-Alan Bennett

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Life is rather 💟like 💟💟 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ tin of sardines—we’re all of us🇺🇸 looking👀 for the 🔐key🔐….
-Carl Sandburg

Funny Quotes About Life

Life is like👫👫 an onion: You peel it🇮🇹 off📴 one1️⃣ layer at 🅰️a🅰️ time🕧, and sometimes you weep😂….
-Charles Schulz

My life has🈶 no👎 purpose, no👎 direction⏫, no❎ aim, ❌no❌ 😏meaning😏, and yet I’m happy 😊. I can’t figure it🇮🇹🇮🇹 out. What am I doing right ▶️..
-Charlotte Bronte

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Funny Quotes About Life

Life is so🆘 constructed that an event🎫 does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.”

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Some days, I can conquer the world🌏. Other days, it🇮🇹 takes me three 3️⃣ hours to convince myself to shower🛀🛀…

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And then I thought 💭 to myself, ‘what’s 😦 the point 👉 of 🚰cleaning🚰 if my family👪 is going to keep living here📍📍…

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No matter how big a🅰️ hammer🐖 you use, you can’t pound💷💷 common sense into stupid 👩people👩….

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Funny Quotes About Life

Being an adult is like 💚 folding🙏 a🅰️ fitted sheet. No one1️⃣ really knows how…
-J.P. Getty

funny quotes about self

My formula for success📈📈 is rise🌹 early🕛, work💼 🕗late 🕗 and strike oil🛢….
-T.S. Eliot

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The journey, not the 🛬arrival🛬, matters…
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Funny Quotes About Life
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Do not follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no 👎 path and ◀️leave◀️ a🅰️ trail….
-Winston Churchill

If you are going through hell, keep going….

funny life quotes 2022

Life status: currently holding👫👫 it🇮🇹 all together with 1️⃣one1️⃣ bobby pin📌…

Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys🔐🔐 in the fridge….

Funny Quotes About Life

I made a 🅰️ huge to-do list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it🇮🇹….
-Robert Louis Stevenson

Don’t judge🔨 each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you 🌲plant🌲….
-W. Somerset Maugham

short funny quotes about life

It’s a🅰️ funny😆 thing about life; if you refuse to accept 🉑 anything but the 📈best 📈, you very often 🉐get 🉐 🇮🇹it🇮🇹….
-Mark Twain

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success📈📈 is sure….
-Voltaire

Funny Quotes About Life

Life is 🅰️a🅰️ shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats…

If I cut🈹 you off📴, chances are, you handed👆 me the scissors ✂️….

Every time🕟 you are able to 🔎find🔎 humor in 🅰️a🅰️ difficult situation, you win😤.”

Funny Quotes About Life

My alone 🕜time 🕜 is sometimes for your safety….

positive funny quotes about life

It will never be perfect💯💯. Make it🇮🇹 💼work 💼.” — Life

Life is not 🅰️a 🅰️ fairy tale. You lose your shoe👡 at midnight🕛🕛, you’re 🍻drunk🍻….

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Funny Quotes About Life

My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”

When one1️⃣1️⃣ door🚪 closes📕, another opens👐. Or you can 👐open 👐 the closed😚 door🚪. That’s how doors🔑 work🏢…

Funny Quotes About Life
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I’m sick😷😷 of following my dreams, man🏃🏃. I’m just going to ask🙏 where they’re going and hook 🆙up🆙 with ’em 🕠later🕠….
-Mitch Hedberg

Gentlemen, you can’t fight in 📌here📌📌. This is the war room….
-President Merkin Muffley

Funny Quotes About Life

My mother👪 always used to say: The older🔘 you get🉐, the better🉑 you get🉐, unless you’re a🅰️ 🍌banana🍌…
-Rose (Betty White),

Life is too short for fake butter, 🧀cheese🧀, or people👪…

Life is the art🎨🎨 of drawing🎨 without an eraser…

Funny Quotes About Life

Before you marry 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ person 💃💃, you should first make them use a 🅰️ computer 💻 with slow 🐢🐢 Internet to 🙈see🙈🙈 who they really are….
-Will Ferrell

I love💝 🍯being 🍯 married. It’s 🆘so🆘 great to find🔎🔎 that one1️⃣ special 👶person👶 you want to annoy for the rest😪😪 of your life….
-Rita Rudner

Funny Quotes About Life
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I like💙 my 💲money💲 where I can see👀 it: hanging in my closet🚾.”
-Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker)

Cal: “You are really pushing my buttons🔽 today.”
Becky: “Which one1️⃣ is ‘mute’?”
-Waitress, the Musical

The worst〽️〽️ part 〽️ of online 💳shopping 💳 is having🈶 to get🉐 up🔺🔺 and get🉐 your 💳credit💳 🃏card🃏 from your 👛purse 👛…

funny quotes about life and love

Funny Quotes About Life

People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a🅰️🅰️ great ↕️way↕️ to connect with 👴old👴 friends🐕.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old 👵 friends🐶 I need 🅰️a🅰️ Ouija board….
-Betty White

I am presently🎁 experiencing life at a🅰️ rate of several WTFs per hour.”

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I tried to be normal once 🔂. Worst two✌️✌️ minutes of my life….

Funny Quotes About Life

Common sense is like💒 deodorant. The people 👫 who need it🇮🇹 most never use it🇮🇹….

Coach: “How’s 🅰️a🅰️ beer🐝🐝 sound🔔🔔, Norm?”
Norm: “I don’t know, I usually finish before they get🉐 a 🅰️ 🆘word🆘 in.”
-Coach (Nicholas Colasanto)

If I woke⏰ 🔺up🔺 tomorrow with my head🗣🗣 sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be ➕more➕ 🙀surprised 🙀…
-Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase)

Funny Quotes About Life

Good parenting👪 means😏 investing in your child’s future 📡, which is why I am 💾saving💾💾 to buy mine ⛏ a 🅰️ hoverboard someday….
-Lin-Manuel Miranda

sarcastic funny quotes about life

I love 💖 airports🛄 because the rules 🚷🚷 of society don’t apply. Eat 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ 🍕pizza🍕 and have🈶🈶 🅰️a🅰️ glass 🍸 of wine🍇 at 77️⃣ am while in track👣 pants👖. Nobody cares 💅….

Outside of 🅰️a🅰️ dog🐾, a🅰️ book📗 is man’s ❇️best ❇️ friend 🐕. Inside of a🅰️ dog🐩, it’s too 🔦dark🔦🔦 to 📗read📗.”
-Groucho Marx

I’m 1️⃣one 1️⃣ stomach flu away from my goal 🏋weight🏋🏋.”
-Emily Charlton (Emily Blunt)

Funny Quotes About Life

There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people👩 you don’t 😘like 😘. Avoiding one’s 🐶friends🐶🐶, that’s the real test📝.”
-Maggie Smith

Some days you eat salads and go to the gym, some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on🔛🔛 pants👖. It’s called📲 ⚖balance ⚖….

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I walk around 💒like💒 everything’s fine, but deep 🔽down, inside💠 my 👟shoe👟👟, my sock is sliding off📴.

💒I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her….
-Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Quotes About Life

🅰️I used to sell furniture for a🅰️ living. The trouble was, it🇮🇹🇮🇹 was my own…
-Les Dawson

There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.”
-Surgeon (Graham Chapman)

A day without laughter😂 is a🅰️ day wasted.
-Charlie Chaplin

Political correctness is tyranny with manners.
-Charleton Heston

funny movie quotes about life

If you think💭 you are too small to make a🅰️🅰️ difference, try 🛌sleeping 🛌 with a🅰️ mosquito.
-Dalai Lama

Funny Quotes About Life

The ❇️best ❇️ things in life will either make you fat, drunk 🍻🍻, or pregnant….

There are only 3️⃣three3️⃣ ages for women🙋 in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.”
-Elise

I am only human🏊🏊, although I regret it🇮🇹.
-Mark Twain

Funny Quotes About Life

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands🖐 of twelve 👱people👱 who weren’t smart enough to get🉐🉐 out of jury duty.
-Norm Crosby

What the world🌏 needs is more➕ geniuses with humility; there are so🆘 few of us🇺🇲 left◀️◀️.
-Oscar Levant

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funny short quotes about life

Usher: “Bride or 💒groom💒?”
Wedding guest: “It should be perfectly💯 obvious I’m neither!”Four Weddings and a🅰️🅰️ Funeral

Funny Quotes About Life

The best✨ thing about the future 📡📡 is that 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 comes one1️⃣1️⃣ day at 🅰️a🅰️ 🕦time🕦.
-Abraham Lincoln

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like💋 who 🍸drinks🍸🍸 as🅰️ much as 🅰️🅰️ you do.
-Dylan Thomas

A good 🌟🌟 laugh 😂 and a🅰️🅰️ long sleep💤 are the best🉑 cures in the 💊doctor’s 💊 book📗.”
-Irish Quote

funny philosophical quotes about life

Life is like💜 a🅰️🅰️ ten🔟-⏩speed⏩ 🚴bike🚴. Most of us 🇺🇲 have 🈶 gears ⚙ we never use.
-Charles M. Schulz

Photography without seeing would be like💌 eating without tasting😝😝….
-David McKay,

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If you are the smartest person👭👭 in the room, then you are in the wrong room.

Don’t be sad😓, because sad😭 spelled backward is das, and das not good 📈….

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re 🚧cautioned 🚧 to slow🐢 down⤵️ by your 😷doctor😷😷, instead of by the police 🚓….
-Joan Rivers

funny positive quotes about life

Happiness is having🈶 🅰️a🅰️ large, 👬loving 👬, caring🚓🚓, 📕close 📕📕-knit 👪family👪 in another 🌃city🌃.
-George Burns

Happiness is a🅰️ dry martini and a🅰️ good❇️❇️ woman… or 🅰️a🅰️ bad📉 👵woman👵
-.George Burns

Truth hurts 🤕. Maybe not 🅰️as🅰️ much as 🅰️ jumping on🔛🔛 🅰️a 🅰️ bicycle🚲 with 🅰️a🅰️ seat 💺 missing, but it🇮🇹 🤕hurts🤕…
-Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen),

short funny quotes

My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got🉐 all them teeth😬 and no❌❌ toothbrush.”
-Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler)

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I’m sick😖😖 of following my dreams, 👱man👱. I’m just going to ask🙏🙏 where they’re going and hook up🔺🔺 with ’em later🕣.
-Mitch Hedberg

A pessimist is a🅰️ person👩 who 🈶has🈶 🈶had🈶 to listen👂 to too many optimists.
-Don Marquis

I’ve 🎓learned🎓 that even🌛 when I have 🈶 pains, I don’t have🈶 to be one 1️⃣1️⃣.
-Maya Angelou

I am thankful for 😂laughter😂😂, except when milk🐮 comes out of my 👃nose👃.
-Woody Allen

War is God’s ↕️way ↕️ of teaching🏫 Americans geography.
-Ambrose Pierce

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Funny Quotes About Life

If you want your children🚼🚼 to listen👂, try 🗨talking🗨 softly🍦 to someone else.
-Ann Landers

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I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a🅰️ Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.

If you dig a🅰️ grave for others you may 🌻fall🌻 into 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 yourself…
-Irish Proverbs

Funny Quotes About Life
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Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do – but you decide you’ll do it 🇮🇹 tomorrow.
-Dr. Tom Haggai

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A study📙 of economics 📈📈 usually reveals that the 🌟best🌟🌟 time 🕑 to buy anything is last year….
-Marty Allen

“Some 👬people👬👬 die💀 at twenty-5️⃣five5️⃣ and aren’t buried until they are seventy-5️⃣five5️⃣.”
-Benjamin Franklin

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“Life was much easier when 📱apple📱📱 and blackberry were just fruits🍐.”

Funny Quotes About Life

They are ill😷 discoverers that think🤔 there is no ❎ land when they 🙈see🙈 nothing but 🐬sea 🐬.
-Francis Bacon

funny religious quotes about life

“The best🌟 lightning🌩 rod for your protection is your own spine.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The 🌑moon🌑 was full🈵 and 🆘so🆘 🔒close🔒 that it🇮🇹 seemed we could scoop out some 🌜moon🌜🌜 ice🍧 cream 🍨 and fill ourselves up 🆙 🔛on🔛🔛 moonbeams.
-Elif Ekin,

The Lord prefers common-looking 👀 👱people👱. That is why he made so🆘 many of them.”
-Abraham Lincoln

A rich 👦man 👦 is nothing but a🅰️ poor 👮man 👮👮 with money💳💳.
-W. C. Fields

Insanity is hereditary; you get🉐 it🇮🇹 from your 🚸children🚸🚸.
-Sam Levenson

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