luvstoc You are the one looking for Funny Quotes About Life then you have came to the right place. Today we have brought some trending Fun Quotes that will make you enjoy it. Let’s get in touch with our amazing quotes…
Taking naps😪😪 sounds🎵🎵 so 🆘 😜childish😜. I prefer to call📲 them horizontal life ⏸pauses ⏸….
funniest quotes ever
When 😇life puts you in 👍tough situations, 🔥don’t say why me🤔 Just say try me😅😅
Every 🕝time🕝 you are able to find🔍 humor in a🅰️🅰️ difficult situation, you win 🏆…
If you😁 are always trying👍 to be normal🙏, you will never😅 know how amazing you 😇can be…. 👍
-Maya Angelou
See the world 🌏 like😘 a 🅰️ big wardrobe. Everybody has🈶 his own costume👘. There is only one1️⃣ that fits you perfectly💯💯….
– George Harris
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I don’t 💭think💭 God put you on🔛 this earth 🌎 just to make millions of dollars 💶 and ignore everything else..
– Chris Amundsen
You can’t experience simple 😹joys😹 when you’re living life with your hair💈💈 🔛on🔛🔛 fire🔥…
-Emily Ley
If you stumble, make it🇮🇹 〽️part 〽️〽️ of the dance…
My alone time🕚 is sometimes for your safety…
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Life is too short for fake butter, 🍕cheese🍕, or people 👫..
One day you’re the best👍 thing since 🍰sliced🍰 bread🍞. The next➡️, you’re the toast🍞🍞….
-Alan Bennett
funniest quotes of all time
Life is rather 💟like 💟💟 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ tin of sardines—we’re all of us🇺🇸 looking👀 for the 🔐key🔐….
-Carl Sandburg
Life is like👫👫 an onion: You peel it🇮🇹 off📴 one1️⃣ layer at 🅰️a🅰️ time🕧, and sometimes you weep😂….
-Charles Schulz
My life has🈶 no👎 purpose, no👎 direction⏫, no❎ aim, ❌no❌ 😏meaning😏, and yet I’m happy 😊. I can’t figure it🇮🇹🇮🇹 out. What am I doing right ▶️..
-Charlotte Bronte
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Life is so🆘 constructed that an event🎫 does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.”
Some days, I can conquer the world🌏. Other days, it🇮🇹 takes me three 3️⃣ hours to convince myself to shower🛀🛀…
And then I thought 💭 to myself, ‘what’s 😦 the point 👉 of 🚰cleaning🚰 if my family👪 is going to keep living here📍📍…
No matter how big a🅰️ hammer🐖 you use, you can’t pound💷💷 common sense into stupid 👩people👩….
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Being an adult is like 💚 folding🙏 a🅰️ fitted sheet. No one1️⃣ really knows how…
-J.P. Getty
My formula for success📈📈 is rise🌹 early🕛, work💼 🕗late 🕗 and strike oil🛢….
-T.S. Eliot
The journey, not the 🛬arrival🛬, matters…
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do not follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no 👎 path and ◀️leave◀️ a🅰️ trail….
-Winston Churchill
If you are going through hell, keep going….
funny life quotes 2022
Life status: currently holding👫👫 it🇮🇹 all together with 1️⃣one1️⃣ bobby pin📌…
Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys🔐🔐 in the fridge….
I made a 🅰️ huge to-do list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it🇮🇹….
-Robert Louis Stevenson
Don’t judge🔨 each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you 🌲plant🌲….
-W. Somerset Maugham
It’s a🅰️ funny😆 thing about life; if you refuse to accept 🉑 anything but the 📈best 📈, you very often 🉐get 🉐 🇮🇹it🇮🇹….
-Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success📈📈 is sure….
-Voltaire
Life is 🅰️a🅰️ shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats…
If I cut🈹 you off📴, chances are, you handed👆 me the scissors ✂️….
Every time🕟 you are able to 🔎find🔎 humor in 🅰️a🅰️ difficult situation, you win😤.”
My alone 🕜time 🕜 is sometimes for your safety….
It will never be perfect💯💯. Make it🇮🇹 💼work 💼.” — Life
Life is not 🅰️a 🅰️ fairy tale. You lose your shoe👡 at midnight🕛🕛, you’re 🍻drunk🍻….
very short funny quotes about life
My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.
“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”
When one1️⃣1️⃣ door🚪 closes📕, another opens👐. Or you can 👐open 👐 the closed😚 door🚪. That’s how doors🔑 work🏢…
I’m sick😷😷 of following my dreams, man🏃🏃. I’m just going to ask🙏 where they’re going and hook 🆙up🆙 with ’em 🕠later🕠….
-Mitch Hedberg
Gentlemen, you can’t fight in 📌here📌📌. This is the war room….
-President Merkin Muffley
My mother👪 always used to say: The older🔘 you get🉐, the better🉑 you get🉐, unless you’re a🅰️ 🍌banana🍌…
-Rose (Betty White),
Life is too short for fake butter, 🧀cheese🧀, or people👪…
Life is the art🎨🎨 of drawing🎨 without an eraser…
Before you marry 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ person 💃💃, you should first make them use a 🅰️ computer 💻 with slow 🐢🐢 Internet to 🙈see🙈🙈 who they really are….
-Will Ferrell
I love💝 🍯being 🍯 married. It’s 🆘so🆘 great to find🔎🔎 that one1️⃣ special 👶person👶 you want to annoy for the rest😪😪 of your life….
-Rita Rudner
I like💙 my 💲money💲 where I can see👀 it: hanging in my closet🚾.”
-Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker)
Cal: “You are really pushing my buttons🔽 today.”
Becky: “Which one1️⃣ is ‘mute’?”
-Waitress, the Musical
The worst〽️〽️ part 〽️ of online 💳shopping 💳 is having🈶 to get🉐 up🔺🔺 and get🉐 your 💳credit💳 🃏card🃏 from your 👛purse 👛…
funny quotes about life and love
People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a🅰️🅰️ great ↕️way↕️ to connect with 👴old👴 friends🐕.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old 👵 friends🐶 I need 🅰️a🅰️ Ouija board….
-Betty White
I am presently🎁 experiencing life at a🅰️ rate of several WTFs per hour.”
I tried to be normal once 🔂. Worst two✌️✌️ minutes of my life….
Common sense is like💒 deodorant. The people 👫 who need it🇮🇹 most never use it🇮🇹….
Coach: “How’s 🅰️a🅰️ beer🐝🐝 sound🔔🔔, Norm?”
Norm: “I don’t know, I usually finish before they get🉐 a 🅰️ 🆘word🆘 in.”
-Coach (Nicholas Colasanto)
If I woke⏰ 🔺up🔺 tomorrow with my head🗣🗣 sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be ➕more➕ 🙀surprised 🙀…
-Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase)
Good parenting👪 means😏 investing in your child’s future 📡, which is why I am 💾saving💾💾 to buy mine ⛏ a 🅰️ hoverboard someday….
-Lin-Manuel Miranda
I love 💖 airports🛄 because the rules 🚷🚷 of society don’t apply. Eat 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ 🍕pizza🍕 and have🈶🈶 🅰️a🅰️ glass 🍸 of wine🍇 at 77️⃣ am while in track👣 pants👖. Nobody cares 💅….
Outside of 🅰️a🅰️ dog🐾, a🅰️ book📗 is man’s ❇️best ❇️ friend 🐕. Inside of a🅰️ dog🐩, it’s too 🔦dark🔦🔦 to 📗read📗.”
-Groucho Marx
I’m 1️⃣one 1️⃣ stomach flu away from my goal 🏋weight🏋🏋.”
-Emily Charlton (Emily Blunt)
There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people👩 you don’t 😘like 😘. Avoiding one’s 🐶friends🐶🐶, that’s the real test📝.”
-Maggie Smith
Some days you eat salads and go to the gym, some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on🔛🔛 pants👖. It’s called📲 ⚖balance ⚖….
funny quotes to make him smile
I walk around 💒like💒 everything’s fine, but deep 🔽down, inside💠 my 👟shoe👟👟, my sock is sliding off📴.
💒I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her….
-Rodney Dangerfield
🅰️I used to sell furniture for a🅰️ living. The trouble was, it🇮🇹🇮🇹 was my own…
-Les Dawson
There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.”
-Surgeon (Graham Chapman)
A day without laughter😂 is a🅰️ day wasted.
-Charlie Chaplin
Political correctness is tyranny with manners.
-Charleton Heston
If you think💭 you are too small to make a🅰️🅰️ difference, try 🛌sleeping 🛌 with a🅰️ mosquito.
-Dalai Lama
The ❇️best ❇️ things in life will either make you fat, drunk 🍻🍻, or pregnant….
There are only 3️⃣three3️⃣ ages for women🙋 in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.”
-Elise
I am only human🏊🏊, although I regret it🇮🇹.
-Mark Twain
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands🖐 of twelve 👱people👱 who weren’t smart enough to get🉐🉐 out of jury duty.
-Norm Crosby
What the world🌏 needs is more➕ geniuses with humility; there are so🆘 few of us🇺🇲 left◀️◀️.
-Oscar Levant
very short funny quotes about life
Usher: “Bride or 💒groom💒?”
Wedding guest: “It should be perfectly💯 obvious I’m neither!”Four Weddings and a🅰️🅰️ Funeral
The best✨ thing about the future 📡📡 is that 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 comes one1️⃣1️⃣ day at 🅰️a🅰️ 🕦time🕦.
-Abraham Lincoln
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like💋 who 🍸drinks🍸🍸 as🅰️ much as 🅰️🅰️ you do.
-Dylan Thomas
A good 🌟🌟 laugh 😂 and a🅰️🅰️ long sleep💤 are the best🉑 cures in the 💊doctor’s 💊 book📗.”
-Irish Quote
Life is like💜 a🅰️🅰️ ten🔟-⏩speed⏩ 🚴bike🚴. Most of us 🇺🇲 have 🈶 gears ⚙ we never use.
-Charles M. Schulz
Photography without seeing would be like💌 eating without tasting😝😝….
-David McKay,
happiness quotes for him
If you are the smartest person👭👭 in the room, then you are in the wrong room.
Don’t be sad😓, because sad😭 spelled backward is das, and das not good 📈….
You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re 🚧cautioned 🚧 to slow🐢 down⤵️ by your 😷doctor😷😷, instead of by the police 🚓….
-Joan Rivers
Happiness is having🈶 🅰️a🅰️ large, 👬loving 👬, caring🚓🚓, 📕close 📕📕-knit 👪family👪 in another 🌃city🌃.
-George Burns
Happiness is a🅰️ dry martini and a🅰️ good❇️❇️ woman… or 🅰️a🅰️ bad📉 👵woman👵
-.George Burns
Truth hurts 🤕. Maybe not 🅰️as🅰️ much as 🅰️ jumping on🔛🔛 🅰️a 🅰️ bicycle🚲 with 🅰️a🅰️ seat 💺 missing, but it🇮🇹 🤕hurts🤕…
-Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen),
short funny quotes
My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got🉐 all them teeth😬 and no❌❌ toothbrush.”
-Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler)
I’m sick😖😖 of following my dreams, 👱man👱. I’m just going to ask🙏🙏 where they’re going and hook up🔺🔺 with ’em later🕣.
-Mitch Hedberg
A pessimist is a🅰️ person👩 who 🈶has🈶 🈶had🈶 to listen👂 to too many optimists.
-Don Marquis
I’ve 🎓learned🎓 that even🌛 when I have 🈶 pains, I don’t have🈶 to be one 1️⃣1️⃣.
-Maya Angelou
I am thankful for 😂laughter😂😂, except when milk🐮 comes out of my 👃nose👃.
-Woody Allen
War is God’s ↕️way ↕️ of teaching🏫 Americans geography.
-Ambrose Pierce
very funny quotes
If you want your children🚼🚼 to listen👂, try 🗨talking🗨 softly🍦 to someone else.
-Ann Landers
I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a🅰️ Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.
If you dig a🅰️ grave for others you may 🌻fall🌻 into 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 yourself…
-Irish Proverbs
Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do – but you decide you’ll do it 🇮🇹 tomorrow.
-Dr. Tom Haggai
A study📙 of economics 📈📈 usually reveals that the 🌟best🌟🌟 time 🕑 to buy anything is last year….
-Marty Allen
“Some 👬people👬👬 die💀 at twenty-5️⃣five5️⃣ and aren’t buried until they are seventy-5️⃣five5️⃣.”
-Benjamin Franklin
funny quotes about life
“Life was much easier when 📱apple📱📱 and blackberry were just fruits🍐.”
They are ill😷 discoverers that think🤔 there is no ❎ land when they 🙈see🙈 nothing but 🐬sea 🐬.
-Francis Bacon
“The best🌟 lightning🌩 rod for your protection is your own spine.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The 🌑moon🌑 was full🈵 and 🆘so🆘 🔒close🔒 that it🇮🇹 seemed we could scoop out some 🌜moon🌜🌜 ice🍧 cream 🍨 and fill ourselves up 🆙 🔛on🔛🔛 moonbeams.
-Elif Ekin,
The Lord prefers common-looking 👀 👱people👱. That is why he made so🆘 many of them.”
-Abraham Lincoln
A rich 👦man 👦 is nothing but a🅰️ poor 👮man 👮👮 with money💳💳.
-W. C. Fields
Insanity is hereditary; you get🉐 it🇮🇹 from your 🚸children🚸🚸.
-Sam Levenson
